206 JOURNEY WITHOUT MAPS

for six or seven hours through the dreadful monotony
of the forest, I could not bear.

On the way back .to our house I remembered we
hadn't taken our quinine for .two days. The rats had
been at the hair-brushes and gnawed the bristles.
They ran along between the wall and the roof in my
room without even waiting for me to put out the
light. I took a handful of Epsom in the warm boiled
water from the filter which was dripping regularly in
the corner and watched them scamper along the
narrow crack above my head. I didn't care a damn
about the rats any longer, the sisters at Bolahun were
right; I was scared in the same way as I had been in
England when I suddenly found that my plans had
gone too far for me to back out of the Liberian jour-
ney; I could remember reading the British Blue Book
and thinking, "In three weeks I shall be there/'
'there' meaning the long list of diseases and of
Colonel Davis's atrocities. I got no thrill at all; I was
just scared. I comforted myself, "I shan't try for
Sinoe," but I knew I hadn't the moral courage to
make straight for Monrovia. The rats jumped down
when I turned out the lantern, but I wasn't any longer
afraid of rats. I was discovering in myself a thing I
thought I had never possessed: a love of life.

Liberian Commissioner

Of .course by daylight I felt better; it is difficult to
believe in death before sunset. But a four weeks'
longer trek to Sinoe was beyond me, especially as I
hadn't enough men with me now to use the ham-
mock. There was one other excuse, too; no money,;